4 key insights after 4 decades in this world!
I turned 40 today! To mark it I thought I’d reflect on each decade and share one insight per decade. Here is what I have…hope it is helpful to someone…
First 10 years
It was in my first decade I found the motivation to make sure I would become somebody of note in the world. Thanks to my absent father. I wanted to make sure he would regret not being in my life. I wanted him to read about me in the papers. As life would have it he died before I was being written about in the papers 😡. That said, Thanks Ted Oviosu, for giving me this motivation.
Insight 1: Help kids in the first decade of life find their motivation to achieve!
Teens
Looking back at my high school years I think the defining element was making life long friends. Without knowing the concept of a “tribe” I ended up having one. I see your tribe as people who you are friends with and are aligned on your way of thinking and approach to life. You can be yourself around them – no judgement. Over time your tribe will expand as people move but the bonds remain. At this stage of life I have come to really appreciate having a tribe. I know my tribe and I make time for them. We are not always in touch but we have each other’s back.
Insight 2: Find your tribe and treasure them. People who you can be 100% yourself with, people who would be there for you in the good and tough times.
Twenties
The twenties for me were mixed. On one hand I love that I was focused so much on my career. That focus to develop myself, do great work, and excel turned out to be brilliant foundation to build upon as I later branched out to start a business. At the time I simply wanted to be the best at what I did. The other side of the twenties was some really low points where I felt lost and wondered why I was on earth. I was searching for purpose. It was tough but I found my purpose. To be clear, I created my purpose. Probably my biggest epiphany was that you don’t find purpose. You decide your purpose. So, since I decided my purpose there’s been no turning back.
Insight 3: You don’t find purpose, you decide your purpose!
Thirties
The two biggest experiences in my 30s was getting married and starting Paga. Both wonderful life events. Both with their own ups and downs. Each day is different and I can’t predict what will happen – so need to comfortable with lack of structure and uncertainty day to day. Additionally, in both you are dealing with people who think differently from you and interpret the same set of events differently. Thus, I need to be open to that. Both of these points point to to the need to being comfortable with ambiguity.
Insight 4: At some point in life you need to be comfortable with ambiguity.
I have had a very fortunate 40 years in this world. I am blessed to have been born into a loving family (albeit without a father figure). I am blessed to have met and made wonderful friends who are now my tribe. I am blessed to have met a wonderful woman who loves and accepts me as I am – warts and all – and is on this journey of life with me. I am blessed to work with a fantastic group of people who are committed to a higher purpose – building a company that has great impact on Nigeria. I am quite grateful for my life. I have learned a lot and have more to work on to develop myself. Now to the next 40 years! To becoming a better friend, husband, leader, human being.
