3 keys to marriage (from someone 25 years married)…and business?
I was just at the wedding of my dear friend Eniola. As with most weddings a few people are given a chance to say a few words to the new couple. Many times people come with their own advice etc. I usually tune out, but one of her aunts who has been married for 25 years had some very concise words of wisdom for the couple. She told the couple to remember 3 things all the time:
- Be patient with each other
- Be humble
- Always laugh
I’ve only been married 15 months but all of these rung so true to me. The only thing I would add to this is advice we got from our pastor — always remember you are foreigners to each other and no matter how good you think you know your partner you don’t think the same way. He said be patient and explain how you are thinking. It also takes patience to truly listen.
I find these principles also apply in business. I’ve had the privilege now to start and lead a company that started with me and now has over 200 people. Just as we make a commitment to our partners in marriage there is a similar commitment to the company we work for. For startup co-founders a commitment to each other. Trust and humility are key but also you need to be with people you can have a good laugh with — you don’t have to be best friends but I think very important you enjoy each others company. You also need to be really patient with each other especially when there are disagreements (and there will be).
With colleagues it’s similar albeit a different relationship. All three attributes will help build cohesion on the team and there is nothing more powerful than a team executing in harmony. That said, I think patience in the business context is within reason. Your team is as strong as its weakest link…so don’t let patience be the reason not to make a change. One of the best things that ever happened to me was getting fired in my first job out of university. I was simply in the wrong role…and yes, patience ran out…business realities came in…
I am reminded me of my favorite African proverb “if you want to go fast, go alone; if you want to go far, go together” — whether in marriage or business I think being patient, humble, and always laughing will help you go far. Let’s check in 25 years to see how it has worked out for me :)
